Eden Kwan (truth essay ) – The Organization of your essay was done very well, transitions between paragraphs were smooth. Also, I liked how you chose a general theme (relationships) to focus on was a good choice, as it narrows the scope of such a broad topic, allowing you to be able to dig deeper in your essay. overall good stuff.
Jay han ( restaurant review) – The Layout of your restaurant review was simple and really easy to follow. I also liked how you walk your audience through each dish from the chronologically, so the audience can experience the restaurant the way you did. It would also be nice if you could enlarge the picture of the food, because thats the main thing you’re trying to advocate/promote. Good stuff.
Colin (restaurant review) – I like how you didn’t focus on the food of the restaurant, but also on the atmosphere of the restaurant, and activities you can do around there. You also took the time to describe the taste and texture of each dish and I have to say, there seems to be a lot of mixing in this restaurant. One thing you can work on is the presentation of the restaurant review, as the ocean of text clumped up on the top makes me go zzzzzz. It was a well done review overall, good stuff.
Henry (restaurant review) – I liked how you walked your audience through your personal experience there instead of just listing out positive and negative. Its like we were right next to you eating lunch, very cool. You were especially descriptive with the experience of the meal. One critique I could give you is to make the format less compact, which would’ve made the presentation look a bit better. Overall, good job.
Joshua Leung (restaurant review) – First off, I just want to say that what a great opening sentence, your were able to introduce your main dish with power and it gave me a great impression of the restaurant already. I liked how you were able to emphasize on what makes your restaurant so special, from the open kitchen to the wooden decorations. I thought the formatting looks a bit odd but overall, it was very well done.
Tony's College Writing blog 